PT. 1 WILDFLOWER

You twist and break me trying to fit me into your mold of a porcelain doll. Although I knew the only thing porcelain about me was my heart, I tried to crush the bones of my spirit and twist the light of my essence for you. To be the perfect doll you’ve always wanted me to be. Fair, dainty, pretty, modest.

While you were too busy criticizing me for all that I lacked, you failed to acknowledge all that I already am. I was a wildflower contained all along – budding and flowering in twisted positions inside a dainty doll frame, in a willful submission of internal deformity. 

Forever feeling like an imposter.  

Forever feeling ugly inside for growing into a twisted state of existence. 

I tried my hardest to suppress the pain of misalignment. For a while, it worked when I was young; a small flower slowly but surely growing into the cage that held me. Still, just like God had created nature to conquer the terrains of Earth, how He fashioned vines to grow beyond the lines of picket fences… I could no longer contain the wildflower’s growth. 

Soon enough, I grew to break the porcelain doll frame that kept me captive all these years.